A Life Cut Short

Today I was really hoping to write about the fact that I turned in my transfer letter last week. This means that I have a chance of switching to another school in the district, which as you may or may not know, would be a blessing. I have spent so much of my first year dealing with discipline problems that I haven't actually had the opportunity to focus on planning AND implementing the kind of lessons that I would like to teach. Sadly, my good news seems so irrelevant in comparison to what happened today. . . .

I was in the copy room this morning when I heard my name called over the intercom. My first thought was, "Great, as if I don't have anything better to do." My name was quickly followed by the name of one of the other fourth grade teachers. Seeing as how we have discipline issues all the time, I assumed it had something to do with that. When I got into the office I could tell something didn't seem right.

The assistant principal proceeded to tell us that one of our fourth graders had drowned on Sunday night. He apparently dove into a pond to retrieve a pair of glasses, despite the fact that he could not swim. His body was not found until midnight and the family does not have the money to pay for a funeral. I went numb and began to tear up as the AP explained that we were not to discuss this with anyone (students or teachers) until a plan was put into place. Of course being the rumor mill that fourth grade is, word had already gotten around before I picked my kids up from the gym that morning. All I was allowed to tell them was, "I don't know. I can't discuss it right now."

During my planning period (which is early in the school day) the fourth grade team met with several administrative officials from the district. A statement was devised to be read in the classrooms in order to let the students know what had happened. Counselors were brought in from all over the district to deal with the potential out pour of grief.

As the statement was read in my class I had several students break down, while many sat there in shock. My room had never been so quiet. Throughout the day, students had the opportunity to seek counseling where many of them made cards to give to the deceased student's family.

One of the toughest issues for me was knowing that so many of these kids had never been nice to the boy. It was apparent that some of them were regretful as you read their cards. "I'm sorry for being a mean friend. I hope you can forgive me now." But by the end of the day, their regular disrespectful behaviors had returned. It was as though they didn't even remember the lesson they had learned that morning.

This evening one of the other fourth grade teachers and I took food over to the student's house. I've never been in a situation where I had to deal so directly with someone else's grief. I learned that at a time like this, most people just want someone to listen to them. While we were there we were told that there is a trust fund in the works so the family can afford to have a funeral.

Well if you've actually read to this point, all I have to say is wow. I didn't know that I would write so much, although I suppose writing is theraputic. In the end all I have to ask is that you please keep this family and my school in your prayers. I have a feeling it's going to be a tough week.