Kids Say the Darndest Things

A small selection of stories from an elementary teacher and a middle school teacher:

The other day I asked my students if they liked the Texas Rangers baseball team. One of them raised his hand and told me that his cousin, Simon B______, plays for the Rangers. That afternoon I told Eric my super-cool news. "Simon B______?" Eric laughed, "He was one of my students last year!" Apparently my student's cousin plays for a local youth baseball team named the Texas Rangers. So much for my super-cool news!

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Eric's class was reviewing vocabulary dealing with the periodic table, elements, and atoms by playing the "I Have. . . Who Has" game. In this game each student gets a card with a vocabulary word and a non-matching definition. The game works its way around the room as each student reads his card aloud after hearing the definition for his vocabulary word. A card might read, "I have an electron. Who has a positively charged particle?"

As the game made its way around the room today, one student read out the following definition,"Who has the name for the rows in the periodic table?" A boy, who realized his card had the vocabulary word on it, unwittingly called out "I have a period!" Haha! Needless to say the game came to a screeching halt while the students AND teacher had a much needed laugh.

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Each of my students has a planner to write down their homework and whatever other nonsensical things they feel like jotting down. This morning I noticed one of my girls had written the following as her plan for Friday: Watch Smallville and South Park. Pet the cat. :) I schedule a time to give attention to my pet, don't you?

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That's all I've got for now. I hope those weren't the kind of stories that are only funny if you were there. Oh well!

Parent Conference Day--UPDATED

Today is Parent Conference Day.

Have I ever mentioned how much I detest Parent Conference Day?

I feel like such a rambling idiot and I hate delivering bad news to some of the parents.

Can we please just fast forward through the next 5 1/2 hours?

Update #1: The day is going better. After stumbling through the first few conferences I feel like I am sounding a little more intelligent.

Update #2: So much for feeling more intelligent. While I was showing a parent the student's test grades I realized I recorded one grade as a 50 when the student actually made a 75. Oops! I had to re-average her grade and make a request for her report card to be reprinted.

Update #3: I survived! Now it's time to get ready for tomorrow.

A Downer

I so don’t want to be here at school today. This isn’t like my usual complaint of just not wanting to come because I don’t feel like it. I mean I REALLY don’t want to be here. I feel completely drained. I don’t know if it’s because of these longer hours they have us working this year or the fact that I don’t feel like I’m teaching these kids very much. Having a headache behind my right eye doesn’t help either.

I’m not in the mood to correct behavior, because I don’t feel up to the argument that typically comes along with it. I had to tell a student twice to start a new line in the gym this morning and then he began crawling up to the front on his knees. I told him, “_______, get up and walk” 10 times, slowly, and calmly. He never once stood up on his feet. What do you do then? The parent would think it’s ridiculous if I called, the office would kick the referral back, and I looked like a push-over in front of all of my students. I’m not in the mood to deal with this. Sorry for being such a downer.

Oh and by the way, I STILL haven't had my white trousers hemmed. Thanks for all of the advice though. I think I'm like you Janet. I'm not going to judge if someone else wears white pants after Labor Day, but I don't know that I want to take the risk and do it myself.

A Fashion Faux Pas?

So I bought some nice white trousers from Banana Republic back in the spring and have yet to wear them because they are too long. I plan to get them hemmed soon along with another pair of pants that I've had since last winter. I know, I'm terrible!

Anyway, my question is how many of you stick to the fashion rule of not wearing white after Labor Day? Is it an outdated rule? Does it apply only to certain whites or certain articles of clothing? Am I really going to have to wait until next spring to wear these pants?

It's been a while. . . .

I'm too lazy to write a real post, so here's some bullets for ya:

• At the end of July Eric and I met up with some college friends at a Rangers game. It started raining some time after the 7th inning stretch. We waited a while, but the rain wasn't letting up so we left and I didn't get to see the fireworks show. :( Instead, the girls went back to the apartment to eat freshly baked brownies and watch The Nanny while the boys went to play basketball.
• We finally got Lucy's doggy door installed. No more getting up to let her out! :) Now if we could just fix the barking problem. . . .
• Last week was all about professional development for us, which means we pretty much went from one boring meeting to the next. I wish I had had more time in my room earlier in the week, but I did manage to get it looking stellar just in time for Friday's Meet the Teacher.
• Eric's 98 year old great-grandmother is not doing well. They don't anticipate her to make it through the night.
• On Monday morning I learned that one of my former 4th grade students was in a coma. That afternoon our AP got word that he had passed away. Out of my two years of teaching, this was the second student death. Student deaths is not something they prepare you for in college.
• Sorry for the downers. . . .
• On a happier note Eric and I attended Emily's baby shower today. She received tons of lovely gifts and I ate way too much food.
• Monday is the first day of school and I'm nervous. Are all teachers as nervous as the kids on the first day, or is it just me?

Hmmm. . . I think that's about it.

We Made the Leap!

When Eric and I told people of our plans to skydive we heard a variety of comments:

"Y'all are crazy!"
"Do you have life insurance?"

"Who gets Lucy?"

"I can see Eric doing it, but Michelle, are you really planning on it?"

My response:

"No we're not crazy, yes we have life insurance, people would have to battle it out for Lucy, and by all means yes, I am going to jump out of a plane!"

Monday finally came around and it was time to prove that we were serious about skydiving. I'll admit I was a little nervous, not terrified, but slightly uneasy. When we arrived at Skydive Temple, we saw a sign with the following quote at the check-in window:

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out and shouting, "Holy crap, what a ride!"

Thanks for easing my nerves Skydive Temple. . . NOT.

Eric and I thought we would be jumping at the same time, but it turns out the plane was WAY too small for that. There was only enough room for the pilot, photographer, instructor, and jumper. So naturally, Eric decided he would go first. To see photos from his experience head on over to his blog.

When it was my turn I climbed into what Emily described as the "very Saved by the Bell" jumpsuit.

Then my instructor, Sam, took me out to the plane to give me a few last minute instructions. This picture gives you a better idea of the plane's size.

Next thing I knew I was getting in the plane and we were flying up to an altitude of 10,500 feet, nearly 2 miles above the ground! When we reached altitude Sam strapped everything together and the plane's door was pulled open. Talk about windy! He had me stick my legs outside the plane. I was supposed to rest my feet on the step like his in the above picture. Then he gave me the warning that we were about to jump and out we went!

I don't remember being particularly scared at all after jumping out of the plane. I do remember that during the free fall it was SUPER windy and it was hard to breathe. When the photographer caught up to us to take pictures all I was thinking was, "Smile and breathe! Smile and breathe!"

The free fall was supposed to last 50 seconds, not that I counted. In the next picture you can see Sam reaching for something on my harness. That "something" is what deploys the parachute. I wasn't aware that he was doing that, so I was in for an unpleasant surprise as the parachute jerked us up.

I really enjoyed the remainder of our trip down to the ground. It didn't feel like we were falling. Sam used ropes that were connected to the parachute to guide us through the air. We did some spins and even suspended the parachute, which made it feel like we were floating in a stationary spot.

Our view.

As we got closer to our landing target, Sam began to tell me how he wanted us to land. Whenever I've seen people landing on movies and TV they are always running full speed ahead. I couldn't imagine how that would work with us strapped together. My biggest fear was that he was going to fall on me and I'd get squashed on the ground. Turns out Sam's plan was for us to land standing up, and that's exactly what we did. It was light and easy, and we didn't have to run or even take a single step.

And that was the end of my skydiving adventure. I even got a certificate for completing the jump! :)

She did it!

Lucy graduated from her beginner education class at PetSmart!

Before getting her cap and certificate she had to sit and stay for 30 seconds, return on command, and do 30 seconds worth of doggy push-ups. Lucy then had the chance to show off in front of her classmates. She showed them how to rollover, shake, and army crawl.

We're so proud of our little graduate!